CFL Power Rankings – Mascot Edition
Published: Thursday, Jul 4th 2019, 2:07pm
By Alex Dormuth (@RealAlexD)
Canada Day shocked us all when “New” Gainer was revealed by the Riders at Mosaic Stadium. I’m still not sure what the hell happened, but I’ve warmed up to our new rodent overlord. Dare I say I even like the new Chucky version of Gainer!
It got me thinking about all the other mascots in the CFL and which ones I like and which I just can’t stand. So I figured I would rank them.
- 1. New Gainer, Saskatchewan Roughriders – Homer pick? Maybe. I think I just love the fact that people are so up in arms about A MAN IN A COSTUME. You be you New Gainer!
- 2. Nanook, Edmonton Eskimos – I had to separate him and Punter (more on him in a bit) because I actually like Nanook. Polar Bears are cool and even though Nanook looks a bit frightening, I dig it.
- 3. Stripes, Hamilton Tiger-Cats – He’s a friendly looking Tiger. Certainly not scary and I think kids would like him.
- 4. Blitz, Montreal Alouettes – This is when I get to the mascots I don’t really care about either way. I had a good interaction with Blitz at the 2008 Grey Cup, so he gets a good ranking. It’s an inflatable bird, what else can I say about it?
- 5. Jason, Toronto Argonauts – He looks pretty badass. I have nothing against him. Thanks for keeping our seas safe.
- 6. Big Joe, Ottawa Redblacks – He’s a little creepy looking, but if Old Gainer and him could be friends when he made his debut, that’s good enough for me. Ottawa went for the Lumberjack thing when they came back to the league and they did a fine enough job with their mascot.
- 7. Leo the Lion, BC Lions – Really, spots 5-7 are interchangeable. I like that he isn’t that guy that bangs on the drum in BC (Can’t stand that guy) and he looks happy.
- 8. Buzz and Boomer, Winnipeg Blue Bombers – I don’t dislike them, I just don’t like them. Maybe it’s because they’re in Manitoba, maybe it’s because I don’t like bird, maybe it’s the Rider fan in me. I like their antics, but don’t like anything else.
- 9. Ralph the Dog, Calgary Stampeders – Now to the mascots I can’t stand. I love dogs, way more than I love people. But this old mutt needs to be Lassie’d. His ridiculous eyes, the way he holds up the signs for the crowd to make noise… I just can’t. Plus, how do you get a dog mascot from a team that is literally a horse?
- 10. Punter, Edmonton Eskimos – THIS THING IS TERRIFYING. A FOOTBALL THAT LOOKS LIKE HE COULD EAT YOU??? Punter needs to be punted away immediately. Whoever approved this design, well, I hope you lost your job. Punter sucks. Someone put a pin in him and deflate him already.
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